Waterpark Simulator | Ep. 1 – Welcome to the Waterpark, Waivers Are by the Entrance
A brand-new series begins, and somehow we’ve been trusted with the keys to an entire waterpark.
Welcome to Boob Lagoon, where the pools are open, the customers are already being referred to as “victims,” health and safety is largely theoretical, and I’m sure absolutely everything has been inspected properly. Grab your swimwear, sign the waiver by the entrance, and please don’t ask who installed the waterslides.
What could possibly go wrong?
🌊 About Waterpark Simulator
Waterpark Simulator puts you in charge of restoring and running your own waterpark. That means building pools and attractions, keeping guests happy, serving food and drinks, cleaning up after everyone and gradually expanding the place into something resembling a successful summer destination.
At least, that’s presumably how responsible people play it.
For us, it quickly became a combination of park management, questionable customer service, Twitch chat invading the premises and discovering exactly how far outside the map the developers would let me wander.
🚧 Where We Are in the Journey
This is Episode 1, so we’re right at the beginning of our Waterpark Simulator adventure.
Mini Gary very kindly gifted me the game, and we actually rejigged the week’s schedule so we could play it before Mini heads back to school. Red Dead Redemption 2 therefore stepped aside for the evening, giving us a chance to start a completely fresh save and work through the tutorial together.
I’d already experimented with the game for about an hour beforehand, including creating our blue-haired character in the image of Jade, the Chocolate Thief. For the stream itself, though, we started from scratch.
And thus, Boob Lagoon opened its gates.
🔨 What Happens in This Episode
The tutorial initially had us doing suspiciously legitimate work: clearing up the neglected park, placing pools and loungers, installing the basic facilities and preparing everything for our first customers. Anything remotely destructible was introduced to the sledgehammer, which conveniently earned us XP and made smashing things feel considerably more productive than it probably should have.
Naturally, it wasn’t long before I discovered that jumping into places I wasn’t supposed to reach could get us out of bounds almost immediately. Better still, some supposedly locked-off areas could already be demolished and cleaned for extra XP. There were whole sections we clearly weren’t meant to be messing around with yet, and I was already wondering whether the distant cruise ship might somehow be reachable. I resisted the temptation to spend the entire stream investigating — mostly — and decided some of the serious boundary-breaking and bonus XP farming could wait for off-stream so we could actually make some progress.
We also wandered along the main street and found a brilliant little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-style tribute tucked away at the side of the road, complete with the figures and their pizza. There was even a dog hiding behind one of them. It was exactly the sort of little detail that rewards wandering off when you’re supposed to be doing something else, although eventually I had to remember that we did, technically, have a waterpark to run.
So, with the basics in place, Boob Lagoon opened for business.
That was where everything started going wrong.
The first guests arrived and were almost immediately renamed “victims,” which became the standard terminology for the rest of the night. We had to deal with different tickets depending on age, how long people wanted to stay and whether they wanted access to the slides, all while trying to understand the growing collection of facilities around the park.
Toilets appeared, followed by the hot dog stand, bins and eventually another pool. Buying that second pool left our magnificent business empire with an operating reserve of roughly £9, which presented a slight problem when we discovered we couldn’t really afford more hot dogs. The financial strategy therefore became fairly straightforward: get more victims through the gates and hope nobody wanted anything expensive.
Unfortunately, the victims also had an extraordinary ability to make everything filthy.
Bins filled almost immediately, toilets deteriorated at an astonishing rate, somebody vomited and mysterious bodily substances began appearing around the park. Guests apparently couldn’t even wait until they reached the toilets before relieving themselves, so we ended up adding more of them while constantly running around cleaning, emptying bins and repairing whatever had just broken.
Deckchairs became “crusty,” particularly bad things became “extra crusty,” and the cleaning became so relentless that the mouse macro I’d already configured turned out to be unexpectedly useful. Even after closing the park, there was usually another full circuit of scrubbing, emptying and repairing to get through before we could think about opening again.
Gary was naturally blamed for most of the unpleasant discoveries. At one point JD managed to slip on what was immediately identified as Gary’s poop, which seemed to settle the matter regardless of any actual evidence. Later, when we found a mysterious patch of dirt that simply refused to disappear, Gary suggested it might be seagull poop and even proposed moving a toilet to investigate.
Somehow, forensic analysis of bird droppings had become part of running Boob Lagoon.
The Twitch integration made the victims much more entertaining because viewers could use the visit command and actually appear inside the park. Mr Smith, Gary, JD, Papa Soup, Mr V and others started materialising as assorted characters, giving us the opportunity to inspect whatever strange forms the game had decided to give them.
Gary’s generated ages and appearances naturally received some scrutiny — particularly when he appeared as a large woman, and at another point as a teenager when he clearly “should have been the senior.” Mr V arrived looking like a long-haired hippy, Papa Soup’s assigned age was questioned, and chat increasingly seemed to regard getting into Boob Lagoon as an attraction in its own right. People were repeatedly using the command and occasionally demanding to be let through the gates.
JD’s character was also caught suspiciously tampering around the pool.
Speaking of the pool, its plug may have been pulled.
There may have been an accident.
It was probably JD.
Fortunately, our early adventures outside the intended boundaries of the park had already revealed some extremely convenient places for hiding bodies. Later, another unfortunate guest ended up injured during our continuing experiments with the game’s ragdoll physics, and we discovered that disposing of a body was apparently a perfectly viable solution.
Health and safety violations? I know nothing about them.
Break-ins presented another minor operational difficulty, although we fortunately had a giant mallet available for customer relations. Chat occasionally had to point out people sneaking into the park because I was too busy cleaning, fixing something or doing something entirely different with the hammer to notice them.
Chat actually became something of an unofficial management team as the night went on. Vvoornth warned that hiring a cashier would become important once things got busier, while Gary supplied advice about toilets, logos, cleaning, stock and the durability of upgraded facilities. Most of it was genuinely useful, although there was a reasonable chance I was halfway across the park hitting something when the advice arrived.
Completing the tutorial did little to improve standards. The game announced that I was officially being left to my own devices, which seems like an astonishing oversight, and from there we continued selling tickets, adding facilities and chasing progression while trying to understand how customers could destroy so much equipment in a single day.
One closing time was particularly successful: the park ended up with a pool out of order, an £80 loss, and me stranded in the water after everything had shut. On the plus side, repairing all the devastation gave us more XP, so even complete operational failure somehow contributed towards progress.
Eventually, Boob Lagoon earned its first star, opening up research and giving us access to staff. I hired a worker for £80 while Gary repeatedly attempted to secure employment through the !hireme Twitch integration. Unfortunately, the staff menus and cooldowns weren’t entirely cooperative, so Gary’s career at Boob Lagoon remained considerably less secure than his enthusiasm suggested.
We kept building as the money allowed, unlocking showers and working towards better facilities. A better pool was eventually researched and installed after some financial reshuffling, while research points also started opening up improved attractions and ways of squeezing a little more income out of our victims.
Some of the guests remained slightly suspicious. At one point there was definitely an invisible man using the shower. Whether this was the actual Invisible Man visiting Boob Lagoon or simply a texture that had failed to load remains unresolved, but nobody else seemed particularly concerned about it.
Food service wasn’t much calmer. Customers constantly wanted hot dogs, which meant running back across the road for more stock while the park continued getting filthy behind me. Eventually my approach to customer service became, “Just take it yourself and leave the money. I’m trying to clean.”
Not long after that, we opened the lemonade stand, adding lemons, ice and another stream of orders to a business that was already struggling to keep its toilets intact. The resulting yellow liquid looked exactly as suspicious as you’d imagine, but the customers seemed happy enough to buy it.
As things progressed, the stream settled into a fairly reliable rhythm: admit victims, sell tickets, serve food, refill lemonade, empty bins, clean something disgusting, repair whatever had broken and collect the resulting XP. Then, inevitably, I’d become distracted by something that had absolutely nothing to do with running a waterpark.
One of those discoveries was that the paint roller worked on people. Guests could be painted vivid colours, which quickly produced comparisons to Sin City and added another entirely unnecessary service to Boob Lagoon’s growing list of attractions. Injuries caused by the game’s ragdoll physics were treated with roughly the same level of professionalism.
At one point somebody appeared to be drowning.
They’d probably be fine.
Another customer needed a hot dog.
Naturally, we also ended up outside the map again. Chat was entirely unsurprised to see me escaping the intended play area and wandering through textureless sections and future expansion zones. There were more objects out there that could be smashed for small amounts of XP, although abandoning the park for even a couple of minutes generally meant returning to discover that the victims had somehow made everything filthy again.
Somewhere amongst all this, we completed several of the smaller missions, pushed through another level and continued expanding the park. We spent research points on a better slide and bonus visitor income, built the new attraction and gradually turned Boob Lagoon into something that, from a sufficient distance, might actually resemble a functioning waterpark.
The evening was special outside the game too, because it marked the debut release of my first EP, Two Post-Its. The records were available through the stream jukebox throughout the night, meaning tracks from the EP could be played while we attempted to keep Boob Lagoon operational. The music is also available on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube and Amazon Music, with more information and links available through Discord and the blog.
By the end of the stream, the park was undeniably in better shape than when we’d started. We had more pools, staff, research, improved attractions and a steady stream of victims coming through the gates. We had also developed a business philosophy involving aggressive cleaning, universal suspicion of Gary and an alarming reliance on a giant hammer, but progress is progress.
There was even only one stubborn mystery left: according to the game, something somewhere in the park was still broken.
We never quite found it.
We wrapped things up after saving our progress and looking ahead to Episode 60 of Fallout 4, where we’ll be tying up a few final loose ends, doing some more exploration and eventually stepping outside the normal boundaries in no-clip mode to explore the world as a whole.
Because apparently staying inside maps isn’t really our thing.
Boob Lagoon will be returning as well. This is definitely one of those games where I’ll continue working on the save off-stream between episodes, because I’m thoroughly enjoying it and there’s clearly plenty more still to unlock, build and accidentally destroy.
📺 Watch the Episode
If you want to witness the opening of Boob Lagoon, the Twitch community invading the park, Gary being blamed for practically everything and our rapidly deteriorating approach to health and safety, you can watch the full episode here:
Watch Waterpark Simulator Episode 1
You can follow the entire adventure through the Waterpark Simulator playlist, and you’ll find the rest of my videos over on the Dr Ravenholm YouTube channel.
If you enjoy the episode, give it a like, leave a comment and subscribe so you don’t miss our next questionable business decision.
🔴 Join the Adventure Live
Watching Boob Lagoon after the fact is one thing. Being there while the disaster is actually unfolding is something else entirely.
Come and join us live on Twitch or YouTube, where chat is very much part of the adventure. In this episode, viewers weren’t merely watching — they were appearing inside the park, demanding admission, trying to get hired and occasionally becoming suspects in whatever catastrophe had just occurred.
The stream eventually sailed onwards with a raid into Fahr_Avayana, bringing another night of chaos to a close.
🌐 Community & Links
Boob Lagoon might have questionable facilities, but at least the community surrounding it is considerably more reliable. If you want to stick around between streams, there are plenty of ways to join the wider crew.
For the main community gathering point, head over to Discord. That’s where you can keep up with what’s happening, chat with everyone and find updates from beyond the livestream.
If you want to follow the signal across the social wasteland, you’ll also find me on TikTok, Bluesky, Instagram, Facebook, Threads and X.
For the musical side of Dr Ravenholm, including my debut EP Two Post-Its, you can find my releases on Spotify and Apple Music.
If you’d like to help keep the machinery running, there’s merchandise through the Dr Ravenholm Fourthwall shop and Teespring, while direct support is available through Streamlabs.
And beyond the gaming world, you can explore the Transparent Aluminium Business Centre, download the service brochure, learn more about me or venture further into the blog.
🌙 Until the Next Opening
Boob Lagoon survived its first night.
We’ve got better pools, new research, more attractions and plenty of unexplored corners still waiting for us. Unfortunately, we’ve also got customers who seem capable of destroying a toilet simply by looking at it and a management team whose preferred problem-solving tool is an enormous hammer.
We’ll definitely be returning to this save — both on and off stream — because I’m thoroughly enjoying it.
Until next time, keep your waiver somewhere safe, don’t drink the suspicious lemonade, and if anyone from health and safety asks…
We were never here.
— Dr Ravenholm
Discover more from Transparent-Aluminium.net
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
